Keeping Up With the Joneses

I am almost 28. Okay, in 2 and a half months, but even so, it feels like it's right around the corner. And I'm starting my countdown to The Beginning of The End of My 20s now because if I don't, I'll be 28 without having thought about the number and the meaning behind the number at all, and will be completely depressed about it. Why does 28 matter? Well, it's rapidly nearing the end of what feels like it should be the best time of my life. Young. Single. Urban. Skin still mostly intact in all the places it ought to be. However, at the end of the day, none of these things truly contribute toward this so-called "best time of my life" because I still feel strongly as though I'm not quite where I "should" be at this age. And most of where I "should" be is based on what I perceive to be the greater successes of my similarly-aged friends. So, in essence, I am just trying to keep up with the Joneses. Or the Rodriguezes, or Shannons, or Halls, or any of my other real-life Joneses who have done rather well for themselves, if you ask me.

I know it's all perception - I have quite a number of positive things going on in my life that I AM grateful for, and that make me very happy. But I so want to be the laughing girl in photos enjoying every moment of an abundant life with friends surrounding me and a circle of people who thrive to be around me and my energy. I want to look back through the memoirs I've kept through the years and smile and weep, and currently I feel as though there are several years of my 20s which are completely devoid of truly great memories, which makes me panic about the time I have left in which to truly enjoy being young. I always wonder: do my friends wish for less than I, or is it simply that my expectations for myself are more than I can hope to achieve? Are the Joneses more content with the twists and turns that life gives them? I think the latter, and that is a serenity that I can only hope to find within myself.

And so I am counting down the days until I turn 28, focusing from this point forward on making the last two years of my 20s truly amazing and memorable. At the end of the day, it's all in my hands to make it so, and the challenges I have to overcome are only those in my own mind. Keeping up with the Joneses? No thank you. I'll just focus on keeping up with me.

Cleaning House

I've been doing a lot of cleaning this week, both literally and figuratively. There's something wonderful and relaxing (as well as affirming) about coming home to order. A clean and organized home makes me feel as though my life is on track. I'm always amazed at the way in which a sparkling sink and neatly folded laundry can do wonders for my state of mind. There's nothing mysterious about it - really, it's simply that if one can find things more easily and doesn't have to spend time on menial tasks, one will have the time to focus on other parts of one's life. (This may not be applicable to all, so in this particular case, "one" refers directly to me). Today, as I sit here blogging with laundry almost complete (there must be something in my subconscious that makes me deliberately leave laundry to do, always - secretly I think I enjoy it) and with the smells of green cleaning products and a vanilla-scented candle surrounding me, I feel completely prepared to tackle the week ahead. It's important to note this, as I'm sure I will need to refer to this feeling during times in which my dishes are piled haphazardly into the sink and I am running crazily through the apartment on a weekday morning looking for my keys (which, after 5 minutes of frantic searching, I will discover have been in my hand the whole time).

My figurative cleaning house has been more exhausting, but more exhilarating than I could have imagined. Suffice to say that I've allowed some negativity in my life because I've allowed others to influence too much my opinion of myself. So this week, I decided it was time to get rid of all that. I pulled some old emotion off the shelf and threw it away upon realizing it had expired. I tied a few loose ends, and swept out the door some toxic items that were beginning to be dangerous for this house. At the end of the stay, I stand proudly in my little apartment with clean hands and a fresh mind, and feel prepared to welcome whatever life may bring in the days ahead.

And So It Begins

How appropriate that I should begin this blogging journey on a Sunday: the day of reckoning. Not religious reckoning, mind you - I'm not answering to Jesus, but to myself, and from what I hear, He is much more forgiving than I will ever be. Not that I have much to answer to. Despite being a young, single urbanite, I often find myself wishing I was living someone else's life (Carrie from Sex and the City? Rachel on Friends?) in lieu of truly enjoying my own. So, Sundays tend to be the worst days, as I find that after I've walked the dog and purchased my venti brewed with room, I have little left to do but wonder how and why I've let one more week go by without really living. And what is "really living" when you're in your 20s? Is it being at the bars every Friday and Saturday? A string of dates outside the door? A fat paycheck and a yearly week-long vacation to Mexico or Europe? A close-knit group of friends who have known each other for years and bolster each other up with their friendship? According to my television alter-egos, it is, and I become more deeply entrenched in Things I Haven't Done and Stuff I Don't Have. And then I become completely restless, unable to face another day in the office and unable to face another week of much of the same self-imposed apathy as the week preceding and wanting, willing myself to making The Big Change, one that promises to be The Right Choice and more importantly, one that will ultimately lead to The Life I've Always Wanted.

Then my coffee kicks in, and I look around my apartment that I love, in the heart of a city I adore, and tell myself that I'm already in the middle of The Life I've Always Wanted. I kick back on my couch with a book/magazine/favorite music/Meet the Press and/or Design on a Dime, call a friend, reflect upon all that is good in my life and revel in the simple fact that I have the luxury to enjoy everything I have.

And at the end of the day, rejuvenated by my Sunday reflections, I vow that this week will be different.